3 Months Old... DAY CARE? Going back to work? HELP!!!

Baby Christian is now 3 months old and precisely 13 healthy pounds of soft baby fat and pure joy! He is strong, curious, talking (trying to) and recognizes faces, voices, and mommy's and daddy's arms. We've had some great moments this last month but nothing tops the experience of: DAY CARE.

Webster's New Millennium Dictionary of English defines "heart-wrenching" as:

"causing great sadness; heart + wrench 'violent twisting'

This was precisely the sentiment when we took Christian to his first day of childcare.

I've heard many women before we had a baby say how much they looked forward to going back to work and to having a schedule. The week leading up to my return to work after 12 weeks was disheartening and the anticipation killed me. The night before his first day we went to Target because Daddy wanted to get him a special bag for all his clothes - so we decided on Transformers and the Incredible Hulk. Christian was going to "school" in style.

Just as to be expected of first-time parents, we carefully read the instructions and checklist from the day care staff so to not miss anything or "appear" as obvious first-time parents and forget something important like socks or a binky. Mommy has the penmanship in the family and carefully wrote his name on all his personal items. When I got down to writing on the last two bottles I took a second, took a breath, wiped my tears, and finished my motherly duties. That night, Damion comforted me as I fell asleep on his chest after a good cry.

6 a.m. came so quick and Christian awoke ready for a bottle. On any other day, we would have taken a nap together on the couch after his bottle, wake up again, play together and then officially start our day. But on this day, instead, we fed him and dressed him for his (our) big day. He was in great spirits, smiling, cooing, playing with grandma and grandpa before we left. In a strange way, this made it more difficult - I felt saddened by the possibility of "misleading" him to think we were on our way to spend the day together. Tears came to my eyes again. What if he felt as if we deserted him? My worst fear was - "What if he goes to sleep, wakes up at the day care, and we are NOT there?"

Then I thought about my own parents. How many times did I think my own mom overreacted when I went to a slumber party or when they couldn't stop taking pictures of all of my "firsts." Now I get it. This practice of enjoying and then letting go is a skill that takes a lifetime to master. Today it was day care, tomorrow it will be the first day of school, then college, then....

Truth is after we dropped him off together and after I took Damion to work that day, driving myself to work, I thought - thank you Jesus. Thank you for Christian. Thank you for the ability to have children. Thank you for giving our child both a wonderful mother AND father. Thank you for the ability to afford day care. Thank you for our family that supports us.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Christian's new home away from home...

If this face does not say "Don't leave me here!" I don't know what does.

The Camera Roll

And here we have Mr. Christian sporting a lovely chocolate corduroy cap with a funky brim cocked to the side. Notice the lovely mocha complexion contrasted with the richness of this must-have burgundy onesie that is hot this season. His buddy, Mr. Bear is the perfect compliment to this innocent, playful, yet deeply mysterious demeanor.

"If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite, something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it. I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle."

-Vincent van Gogh

Morning sunrise, cup of coffee, daily "fix" - whatever you call it, this face is it. My cherished memories of our son's first three months of life at home with me will always be wrapped inside my heart with a picture of this bundle of joy in nothing but a white side-snap t-shirt that always showed off his itty belly and a diaper with Elmo and friends.

This picture was taken after we woke up from taking our morning nap together on the sofa after his 6 am bottle one day. I opend my eyes just to make sure he was okay. Instead, I caught him watching me sleep and quietly sucking on his binky as if not to wake me! My heart fluttered and I smiled at him and told him "hi." He smiled so big his binky fell out of his mouth. Then we woke up and started our day.

I will never, ever, ever need another reason to smile again :)

Loading and unloading our little "cargo" from the car became easier over these last 2 months or so. As you can tell, Christian doesn't mind the transfer. Although he HATES to be idle - when we are driving, all is well. The minute the car stops... WHHHHHAAAAA!!!!

This is how ya feed 'em and burp 'em in the dressing rooms at department stores! When they're hungry, they are hungry! Thank you Grandma for taking the pictures! We were suppopsed to be dress shopping but ended up having too much fun just taking pictures :)

"I am looking at the man in the mirror, the man in the mirror, oh ya!" (for all the Michael Jackson fans out there). Funny thing is that his teachers at day care report that sometimes they can just sit him in front of the mirror and he will giggle and smile. His grandpa (Rincon) affectionately refers to that as "self love." When my brother was a baby, my dad would put him in front of the mirror and they would kiss themselves...self love... now OUR baby has this problem!

Hanging out at Nordstrom's

One of Andrea'a uncles lovingly admitted that baby Christian no longer looked like the "milk man's baby" - and how much he favored Damion. Thanks Uncle Rudy!! :)

Hanging out at P.F. Chang's with the grandparents. We sure are going to miss those long luxurious lunches!

Our little "tax deduction" enjoys a latte at Starbucks with Daddy, Mommy, and Grandma. In style of course :)

Even though all these jumpers say that the recommended age is 4 months, Christian got his first jumper when he turned 2 months. If you've ever tried to hold him when he wants to play, it is not easy to do. He will dig his little feet wherever he can plant them and try to leap as far as he can.

Christian meeting Granny at Olive Garden on a lunch date!

He has a million different faces and looks but this is a favorite - soft, baby, playful, curious, and engaged.

Watch out little girls, here comes BIG PAPA! If you notice, even his smile is cocked to the side a little bit - he is really feeling this look! Mommy will have to teach him on how to be "humble" with his good looks - it is an acquired skill that Daddy hasn't quite mastered :)

Napping after a 3 mile walk with mommy on a sunny day :) If he looks like he is seriously leaning to one side it is because mommy had to do the following before he started crying:

1. Park the car,

2. Tie her hair back,

3. Change shoes,

4. Change his diaper,

5. Check the mail,

6. Start walking

So there wasn't a lot of time left to get him situated in the stroller :)

Daddy can claim the perfect little nose and pretty complexion but those plump baby lips are all MOMMY'S!!

There is something uniquely special watching a man bond with his baby. It is a beautiful paradox of a sight - strong and defenseless yet rough and delicate. Pictures like this make me grateful all over again for having my hero, my Dad, in my life. As a little boy, Christian will have many superheroes. But when I sit back and watch this, I can't help but feel proud that I picked the right hero for this job - his father.

Bathtime! Since Christian grew into the big boy tub, bathtime is one of his favorites. There is the occasional "boy fountain" but we are watchful and have the "pee pee teepee" on hand :)

Baby Christian with Granny (Damion's mom) and his cousins - Maudre, Miya, and "Tink"

Happy Baby!

Wherever we go, we carry him in our favorite maya wrap. This is the perfect gift for any pregnant woman. The art of "wearing your baby" is centuries old and is a beautiful practice that not only both of our ancestors once did but many women in different parts of the world still do. There is nothing more comforting to him than the warmth of his parents and the sound of our heartbeats.

Catching some Z's on Daddy's shoulder.

The Great West Texas Tour

A native of Snyder, Texas, Daddy takes Mr. Christian to the land of dustbowls and tumbleweeds. The memory of Damion's childhood is vivid and alive. Mr. Christian has a way of reminding him of all that he experienced and learned. When we received word that Christian's great-great grandmother was ill, God gave us the opportunity to take him back to Damion's hometown and meet some very important people.

On the way... beautiful Texas countryside.

Both exhausted, mommy and baby snoozing after finally arriving at the hotel.

Three generations in one picture :)

Baby Christian meets Great Grandpa in Snyder, Texas.

A beautiful sight - the youngest member of the family (Baby Christian) meeting the eldest, beloved GREAT-GREAT Grandmother Tidda.

She gave all of us a scare with an emergency surgery so we rushed to Lubbock so Christian could meet this special person. To our surprise she was waiting on his arrival and the meeting was a blessed one. Even more of a blessing - Grandma Tidda did exceptionally well at the hospital and gradually regained her strength.

Just the three of us!