And there we were, about to blow out our son's first birthday candle. Perhaps one of my most important duties as a parent was summed up in that brief second as we made our son's first birthday wish on his behalf. When I thought about what to wish for I couldn't help but think about the night before he was born.
Damion and I decided to take a stroll that night. I was only able to do a quarter of my usual mile but nonetheless, I lugged our precious cargo around the block. As we slowly approached a streetlight, it suddenly went out, making way for what was about to happen next. Within half a second after the streetlight faded, and about a billion miles past the streetlight, into the night sky, I saw a shooting star. Before I could share it with Damion, it was gone. And as we passed the streetlight, it mysteriously relit, as if to only have disappeared long enough so that I could receive the moment. Damion urged me to wish upon it so I did.
We went for our routine doctor visit the next day, July 10, 2008 at 11 a.m. He was born just a few hours later at 5:35 p.m. I smile when I think about my shooting star the night before; that half of a second felt like 9 months. I like to think that I had been carrying Christian in the physical sense for so long, but that God finally sent his spirit that night. A year later, as I made Christian's first wish for him, I prayed that it too would come true.
Rookie of the Year
Every now and then I'll look at Christian and ask him, "Poppa, how is mommy doing?" He usually watches my mouth and then smiles or lovingly leans in towards me as to avoid a serious conversation. But even if I don't get an answer immediately, he still pats me on my arm every single time I pick him up. It's funny feeling him do that; most of us do that as adults when we embrace or hug but he's been doing that ever since he was 10 months old. There's a lot of ways to gain praise in this world but nothing beats a pat on the back from your own baby. And yes, I still do and will forever affectionately refer to him as my baby; Daddy helps me practice saying the "T" word though (toddler). Then I think, "I'm almost 30 years old and STILL my mom's baby." One of my favorite Disney movies is about Dennis Quaid who is a high school baseball coach. To motivate his players he makes a deal with his team that if they win state championships, he'll try out for the major league as a pitcher. Towards the end of the movie, as he makes his major league debut, he is sitting on the bench waiting to get called up to the bullpen. The first call is to the bullpen, the second call is into the game. I couldn't explain my most defining moment as a new mother any better than that, the day we brought Christian home from the hospital.
We eventually made it home after driving a steady 30 mph on Central Expressway ALL the way home. Although Daddy could have cared less at any anxious drivers, it was as if the world knew we were transporting our newborn and we arrived at our destination without a single honk. Damion carefully got both of us in the house, we put Christian in his new room that had been awaiting his arrival and as I sat down on the sofa I remember so well, thinking, "So what do we do now?"
That was an intense moment - to be in a place of total uncertainty, ready for anything, and incredibly scared. Although the moment was short-lived, as Christian woke up not too long after we got home, those few isolated minutes of waiting, felt like I was in the bullpen. The moment he woke up and cried his first cry at home, we were called into the game.
It's funny to hear people that don't have kids comment, "I couldn't do it, or my favorite, "better you than me." What they don't know is that you are never fully prepared to embrace parenthood in any regard-the late nights, the expense, the worries. But when God calls you up (whether it be a planned or unplanned pregnancy), you go. It's a permanent adrenaline rush that feeds on love and it's awesome.
Baby Christian is without a doubt the star of his own book and is most deserving of the ROOKIE OF THE YEAR AWARD or quite simply, THE BEST BABY IN THE WORLD AWARD! Damion still tells people about the following story:
My mom and I were shopping at the Galleria and shared an elevator ride with another new mommy and her mom. Christian was asleep in his stroller and we had him well concealed to minimize the light. The ladies jokingly asked if there was a baby in there. I wanted to jokingly respond and tell them no, it was just our mall buggy. But we smiled and confirmed that he was just napping. The other Grandma smiled, looked down at her granddaughter and told us that she was just the "best baby in the world." I smiled back and said, "no, no, no, MY baby is the best baby in the world." It was such a natural response, we all chuckled and went our separate ways. Damion didn't believe my mom when she shared the story. I reassured him that it was all in good fun.
Was I really joking? Did they think I was serious?
Who knows. But therein lies the humor. My Dad has always pressed upon the effectiveness of "planting that seed of doubt." So I chuckle at the possibility that there is a grandma out there telling her friends and family the same story.
But he just simply is the best baby in the world. I marvel at all his accomplishments. It's like what they say about marines - they get more done in the first half of the day than most of us do in a full day. But babies take the cake. In 12 months time, Christian learned how to rollover, sit up, crawl, and walk; hold his own bottle, "latch on," talk, and eat table food. On top of that, he survived chicken pox, 5 ear infections, nose plugging, diaper rashes, getting tubes, diarreah every time we had to switch his formula, and multiple incident reports at day care.
So he is without a doubt, the Rookie of the Year. But alas, there are more stars in this movie..
The Baby SEAL Award:
There's another Disney movie with Vin Diesel where he's a Navy SEAL and fails an undercover mission, to protect his target. The target's family becomes endangered and to redeem himself, Vin Diesel agrees to watch the man's children which becomes his mission impossible. The preview to this movie almost 5 years ago now, was like watching RAMBO prepare a diaper bag.
This is my Damion. Watching him prepare us for a family day out is like watching someone meticulously prepare for battle. This is one reason why he carefully inspects any type of bag and it's the same reason why his Daddy diaper bag is made out of ballistic black nylon and looks like he got it from the Army/Navy Store. While mommy's bag is a sage green and biege "Ju-ju-bee" bag with flowers.
But he came to us this way and we love him for it. Rest assured if we go somewhere, travel somewhere, take a road trip, or get caught in a storm, to say that we will be prepared, is an understatement.
The Breast Friend Award
If you recall from an earlier post, breastfeeding was a gift to us. I remember the day called Damion on my way home from the doctor's office and told him that I was able breastfeed Christian. We shared a good cry. Approximately 6 months earlier, I had removed myself from my chemo regime (against medical advice) just so I could breastfeed. And when I was feeding every other hour, on the hour, there Daddy was - at 3 a.m. helping to keep Christian "latched on" as my eyes and head were rolled back, mouth dry, and sleep-deprived. He brought me my ice water, fluffed the pillows, put my favorite channel on when I had to pump and was my biggest cheerleader. To all the daddies out there - beat that!
The "Papi Chulo, Numero Uno" Award
This award goes without a doubt, to Christian's Tio Jojo and Tia Lexi. The name of the award was inspired by Tio Jojo - a choice phrase that he insists on teaching Christian to say at school. I have my reservations about it, as I picture my three-year-old strolling up to day care, announcing his presence as he pats his chest introducing himself as "Papi chulo, numero uno"!
But alas, this tio and tia have insured on multiple occasions that Christian wear nothing but the best - Polo, Calvin Klein, K-Swiss, Kenneth Cole - you name it. They help Christian "keep it clean" and let all the other babies know what's up. But make no mistake, there will be no gettin the big head and Christian will knows all about Faded Glory. If you aren't privi to to brand, visit your local WalMart :)
Kung Fu Panda Award
Christian's grandpa is a distinguished man; a prominent man in the community, an expert in his field and a sought-after and published voice of reason ...but...to Christian, he is Kung Fu Panda!
I tease my dad about inheriting this name after I saw how in love Christian was with Grandpa's daily kung fu chops, kicks and animations. He thinks it's the funniest thing in the world when Grandpa shows off his "crane" attack and sounds like Bruce Lee. My dad loves life and Christian loves him for it.
The G-Force
All grandmas are physicists, you know. The law of physics simply states: for every action, there is a reaction. For every mommy command, there is a grandma countermand. I've learned it's more of either a turf war or a "on my watch" kind of argument. We're lucky though, we have not had to experience the "grandma stories" that many new parents vent about or the generational child-rearing differences that have to be hammered out. Other than having to convince my mom that swaddling was not cruelty to a child, Christian has the perfect "grandma" and "grannys."
I think about how moving it must be to watch your first born hold her first born; to relive the great and not-so-great. My mom has been the perfect sidekick, a walking encyclopedia, a nurse, and the only baby sitter that Christian has ever known. She let's us do the parenting but somehow, magically knows when we need a break. Everything to her as a grandma is a big deal and she makes Christian laugh like no one else. I wonder if I'll ever be the mom that my mom is to us. Right now, I feel like I fall oceans short of the experience, love, and patience that she emits every day. To my credit, she has 30+ years experience. But haven't you ever seen where you're headed, looked at the road you take to get there, look at where you're standing and then look back up at the road with doubt and intimidation? Family would tell me all the time when I was pregnant, "Oh don't worry, you'll be a great mom; just like your mom." But that was exactly my point. My mom's example set the standard.
The Swagger Award
How many 1 year olds own a pair of Jordan's? Uncle Tristan's nephew does! When you have a relative like Uncle Tris in the family one of two scenarios is a certainty: either you will always have someone to approve of any ensemble in question or you'll always have someone to call you out when what you're wearing is completely wack! Approximately three Jordan outfits and a pair of Jordan's later, Uncle Tris takes the smooth swagger award home for keeping Christian's image on the frontal lobe! He's made mention of some Ed Hardy gear on the horizon but nothing yet....
The V.I.P. Award
My brother told me one time that we don't have "best" friends, we have "true" friends. As a girl, we sometimes have to unlearn the concept of best friends and grasp the concept of sisterhood. So something must be said for the friends in your life that are always there; and by that, I mean not just when it's time to celebrate. At this point in my life, the only thing that separates friends from family is DNA. Suffice to say, I have been blessed with true friendships.
When I close my eyes, I see Javon, Karla, and Denise. Not only have these women in my life taken such a fancy to Christian, involve themselves with his growth, and invest in his happiness in one way or another, but they have made it part of their life's mission to show up in our lives. As you grow older you care less about how many friends you have to call when you want to go out and begin to care more about keeping tabs on the VIP's.
Ladies, with everything in me, I thank you and love you.
Who's on First?
I would submit that the first year is really ours, mommy's and daddy's. After that, the babies morph into full-fledged people with their own personalities, opinions, and preferences, and everything becomes negotiable. Makes me appreciate one of the only consistent requests that my mom ever made - to be able to see us on our birthdays, no matter where we were or what we were doing. It's a promise I intend on keeping.
Daddy said a prayer for three of us as we prepared Christian for bed the night of his birthday. And then Daddy put him to sleep. If I would have known that all those times I got dibbs on putting Christian to bed so I could be the last one to hold him, meant that I would give up putting him to sleep on the night of his birthday, I would have negotiated something different. But not all the moments are mommy's to be had.
Something's gotta be said for a refreshing bath to start off your 1st birthday. For mommy, it was all about washing off the first year and starting a new one!
Are we having fun yet???
We started off the day with the immunizations and got them out of the way. 
Cheese
Clowing around before the doc walks in
Just a little bribe before the needle...
Post-injection.
The bright side is that since Christian already had the chicken pox only 1 vaccine was required :)
But we still felt bad so we let Christian take the car around the block...
"Happy Birthday to you...."
Mommy and Daddy doing the honors...
Christian doesn't get it now but in another year he'll be looking forward to this day all year!
We tried but Christian is a food snob just like his mommy and passed on the cake...
But he got an "A" for good sportsmanship
Granny, really? More pictures??
If Christian ends up liking to shop for clothes as much as Daddy, we're in serious trouble.
Getting the hang of it...
Is it the day after my birthday yet??? I'm pooped.
The Main Event: the Second 1st Birthday!
So after all was said and done, "damage" was totaled and inventory was taken, we did not get to give Christian the 4-in-1-rider or his Superman birthday card from us, I forgot to invite 3 people and forgot 2 party favor bags.
People at work think I'm joking when I tell them that there were over 60 people at Christian's
first birthday. No joke, it took an hour to unwrap all the gifts. It's funny-some people are strictly "clothes for birthdays" or "toys for birthdays" kind of folks. Christian got a little bit of everything. It was amazing.
Christian got the birthday jitters a few hours before showtime.
The most awesomist 1st birthday cake
And this wasn't all the presents...
A birthday table fit for a superhero!
Yes, I'm loved.
Cousin Maya struttin her stuff!
Cousin Cati and her mommy Monica (twins)
Tio and Tia eatin some of the great birthday party grub!
On the "Daily Planet" Menu:
Nitro Nuggets
Meteorite Meatballs
Solar Mac
Superfly Sliders
Metropolis Cantaloupe & Melon Salad
Man of Steel Sandwiches
Lex Luthor Links
Crater Chips
Krypton Korn
Liquid Kryptonite
The baby pool was the spot!
Cousin Diego and Gracie having fun
Tia Jane
Hey, get a room! This is a family function!
Great Granny and the Linebargers :)
Cousin Lukie and Tia Levy
Cousin Diego, Lucy, and Emily (cousin Emmalyn is still baking in the belly here)
Great Granny and Granny
Considering the extremely large audience, Christian did very well with the birthday song
Mom, can graduate to Young Toddlers before we start talking college?
Stylin'
The collegiate battle lives on... will it be SMU or UT??!
Uncle Tristan is looking on with a smile of approval as nephew sports the latest and greatest Jordan's.
Check out the new Converse :)
It's funny how some people have a strict "no toys" policy when I comes to kids' birthdays - you can always count on certain family members for the cool necessities.
Granny found the most awesomist gift bag that came with a Superman cape!
Cool! Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!
The birthday boys - Cousin Tom and Christian
Tio Jojo and Tia Lexi stood up until 3 a.m. customizing Christian's wrapping paper!
Oh Miya!
Cousin Toni was quite the little helper with all the wrapping
Just the "3" of Us
Mommy and Daddy barely survived all the festivities!
After all was said and done, "damage" was totaled and inventory was taken, we did not get to give Christian the 4-in-1-rider or his Superman birthday card from us, I forgot to invite 3 people and forgot 2 party favor bags.
Daddy's Corner
The brevity that a lot of men share in conversation does have a place in this world. Doesn't seem that way when you're trying to date them and fish for those those 3 hour conversations about the "way they are feeling."
But when I asked Damion what he learned and what he might offer new daddies, he put it well:
1. Love is truly unconditional
2. If you don't have patience, find it
3. Be involved in life, your baby needs that
4. Baby slobber doesn't taste bad
5. Getting pooped on isn't so bad either
6. Energy, energy, energy
7. I married the right woman
8. 50/50 equals 50/50 - mamas don't do it alone
9. If you think your wife is amazing now, wait until you have a baby
10. Talk to yourself and to God, it keeps you sane.
For me, parenthood has brought immense joy to my life. And although I'm no expert, I've learned a few things along the way:
-Patience is the mother of all lessons;
-You're not less of a woman if you have a cesarean or if you don't breastfeed;
-I wish I would have asked the doctor to hold off on putting that gunk in his eyes after he was born so he could see me better when I breastfed him for the first time;
-The two greatest inventions: zippers on baby pajamas and overnight diapers
-Not ALL the moments are just mommy's to be had;
-Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself (I still haven't mastered this yet);
-When you want to compare your child to another, don't;
-Those late nights when the menstrual pains were the worst, when the fatigue and back pain brought me to tears, when the baby would not sleep unless I was standing, and when I tried to give Daddy his rest, all paid off.
-if baby gets hurt on either mommy's or daddy's watch, go easy, it will always hurt you more than it hurt the baby.
-even if you can't sing a note, do it anyways, babies don't discriminate;
-When stranger danger comes knockin, an honest effort must be made to socialize your baby even though it feels good that he doesn't want anyone but you.
-When you miss your baby, let him know, it's a different kind of hug.
-Grandparents have been there, done that. Enough said.
-Don't get jealous; everyone will want to love on your baby;
-Even when I thought I was putting Christian first, I had to forget myself;
-Humble yourself-taking advice doesn't mean you're not perfect;
-I underestimated how exciting it would be to know that your baby pooped. The first time I suffered as a parent was the first time Christian was constipated. There was nothing we could do. We checked in with all of our lifelines-grandma, the books, the doctor. We did what we had to do and waited. As soon as he pooped, we celebrated!
-Peace of mind is expensive but convenience doesn't always have to be. Those pre-packaged snack containers that look so cute, inflate the budget.
-Structure has a place in this world but it doesn't have to be 24/7. Enjoy your baby and let others do the same; for us, it meant staying up extra late to put him back to sleep after awakening him to visit with a relative that rarely visited.
-Don't fret about forgetting the camera; be in love with the moment, not just the memory.
-Start something from day 1 and watch it grow with your baby (e.g., plant, blog, garden, etc.);
-I've learned that it's worth being a few minutes late if it means that the grandparents get to take their time saying goodbye;
-Go easy those first few weeks on the family with all that hand-washing thing-it's critical but not everyone will get that.
-I learned that it's not that all moms can talk about are their kids, it's that it's just so hard not to.
-All mommies should have at least one "trace" of parenthood in their cars-either a Cheerio, binky, bib, or diaper-if you don't, shame on you!
-Forgetting you're married is easy when you have kids but after all is said and done, the sun rises and sets with your marriage, keeping it alive is critical;
-Babies sense all kinds of emotion. They may not be the most articulate but sometimes they are more in tune than most adults.
-Resist the urge to ever feel that your baby won't need you;
-Practice together how you'll respond to something you don't like especially when it comes to family;
And the grand finale....when I didn't know who or what to put first, I remembered what someone once told me: take care of your vertical relationships and your horizontal ones will take care of themselves. Translation: always put God first.
A new chapter
In celebration of new beginnings and Christian's graduation from infancy, my personal account of his life, this blog, has morphed into the next chapter and the new name is a summation of what is most important in my life-my son, moon and stars.
My husband, my moon. It's simple, Damion provides an unmatched light in my life. The combination of the illumination, energy, and influential forces he emits to me and to our family keeps us, without a doubt, in orbit (if you know him, you'd know he's appreciate the comparison). The ability for the man in your life to be the light in your life is unfortunately, an undervalued trait. It means caring when you don't, caring more when you do, and sustaining a healthy energy in the home. You can teach that kind of stuff, anywhere. When the sun sets When the day ends When the night begins When the moon lights You rise in my heart You make me sing You make me dance You make me smile You rise in my heart When the sunsets I hear your words I see your eyes I see your smile You rise in my heart When the moon lights You showed me light You made me bright You rise in my heart When the sunsets When the moon lights When day light ends When dark night begins Rise in my heart Show me moon light O my dear moon Kranthi Pothineni |
And because the stars are abundant, so are the people in our lives that will always have their hand in raising Christian whether it be everyday or in a sweet and subtle sense. Thank you for providing a nightlight for his path and for everything you contribute to our family's life.
And to our sun,
Christian, my Love,
They said it would go by too fast, and it did.
They said you can't explain it, and we can't.
They said it takes teamwork, and it does.
They said you would fall in love again, and we have.
They said it would be fun, and it was.
They said to not take everyone's advice, and we didn't.
They said there was nothing like it, and there isn't.
Some tears are sweet, some are salty. Your Daddy and I have had our share of both over your first year of life. From hearing your cry for the first time fresh out of my belly to having to muster up enough conviction from deep, deep, down, to tell you "no" for the first time. We've watched you when you weren't watching, admired you in your sleep, and sometimes cry for no reason at all other than because we love you so much. We are so lucky that God picked us for you and even if you never read this and this blog disappears, just know that before you were born, we poured our last breath into you. With all that we are, we love, protect, and adore you.
Now... on The Camera Roll
My personal favorite-besos.Tell Christian, "Dame besos papi" and he'll lay a big one on ya!
Step 1: Smell 
Step 3: Eat!
Even babies get frustrated when the paparazzi don't respect meal time!
Sixty and sizzlin!! We're all proud of Grandma - 40 pounds lost and still going... beat that Grandmas!
Tah dah! Thanks to Granny for the cool new threads.
Hmmm. This looks interesting...
Christian was very understanding when we had to visit the car dealership on his birthday. Even though it put a stint in our plans for the day off, as you can see, being together is all that matters to him.
Soaking up some QT with grandpa
Okay folks, looks like the pipes may be a little clogged-I got a couple of things in the truck that might help out..
Going to get my tools...my work is never done!
Christian keeps the celly nearby - we never know when he'll get a call
1 comment:
VIP award -- I'll take that! He's just growing up so fast!! Once again, tearing up at work while reading the blog....
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